Celebrating life and love and and helping you honor your legacy one portrait painting at a time
Author: Joya Cousin
I create vibrant portrait paintings and other artworks in a contemporary expressionist style. A Caribbean-born former award-winning telecommunications executive, I now live in France with my husband.
A courageous, highly important and unavoidably incendiary contemporary work. ]
In ‘Infidel‘, Ayaan Hirsi Ali takes us on an unforgettable journey of personal transformation. Her 1970’s childhood was a traditional Muslim upbringing requiring submission and obedience. She grew up in war-torn Somalia, Saudi Arabia and Kenya with an absentee father and abusive mother to come of age as a member of parliament in Holland, and outspoken internationally renown activist.
Her brave and deeply personal memoir is arrestingly provocative because she is our contemporary. She tells of the realities of female subjugation, genital mutilation and arranged marriage because she lived it. Her overwhelming pain and naturally rebellious spirit fed her passion, leading her first to seek political asylum, and now to ongoing work in human rights. That pain captures your imagination on every page of her matter-of-fact retelling of a remarkable life. As a woman only six years her junior, I couldn’t help thinking “this could have been me.” She leaves her readers with a sense of raw numbness, unsure of whether to feel offended or ashamed.
‘Infidel‘ is seen by some as an anti-Islamic polemic. Ayaan, who must still live with armed guard protection even in the United States, is seen as being an enemy of the Muslim faith. Does she have a right to be angry? Does this autobiography have a political agenda? Has she been too critical of Islam? I will leave you to answer these questions when you read ‘Infidel‘ for yourself.
A visionary entrepreneur tells his extraordinary story.
In 1984 – when my parents were one of the first cable subscribers on a tiny Caribbean island – I had no idea that CNN was a fledgling cable network. It is easy to assume that rich, powerful, outspoken Southern billionaires such as Ted Turner have always been so. Not quite.
Ted Turner was once a rambunctious, badly behaved boy who was chucked off to boarding schools at a very tender age, expelled several times, and repeatedly physically abused by a controlling alcoholic father. Despite his harsh childhood, there is no pity party in his autobiography ‘Call Me Ted‘. He tells the story of his challenging younger days with brevity and a matter of fact quality.
And then come the details of his staggering accomplishments. The trajectory goes like this: troubled child – college dropout – multi-billionaire. He was forced to eat humble pie by joining his father’s billboard business, but then went on to win the America’s Cup, start a cable network and eventually CNN, own the Atlanta Braves, become an exceedingly wealthy person and the largest single landowner in the United States. He even gave a billion dollars to the United Nations.
The story is so astounding, like a work of pop fiction, it is almost unbelievable. He is passionate, outspoken and in many ways a stubborn brat. How did he do it? Vision, belief in his dream and hard work. It makes your head spin, but the failures and frailties are candidly presented too.
An important part of the book is the space given to key persons in his life, including ex-wife Jane Fonda and arch-enemies to share their uncensored thoughts on him and their experiences with him. The book is so much richer for it.
I now have both a healthy respect and deep admiration for this extraordinary man – entrepreneur, visionary, humanitarian: a living legend.
[easyreview cat1title=”Quick Rating” cat1detail=”A haunting tribute to the power and beauty of the human spirit. ” cat1rating=”5.0″]
Night is Elie Wiesel’s autobiographical account of holocaust survival. Summon your courage and brace yourself emotionally for the coming onslaught of cruelty inflicted by Hitler on European Jews through an incredibly dark moment in human history.
The first thing that struck me was the purity of autobiographical account being told by Eliezer, a 14-year old Jewish boy living in Transylvanian town of Sighet. As the war raged and the Nazi atrocities mounted, the Jews in that town lived ignorantly contented lives – optimistic that war would soon be over and with a feeling of blissful insulation from its terrors.
Elie Wiesel’s language is plain, devoid of embellishment and his voice throughout the book is matter-of-fact. There is no colorful language to make the pungent odors or the heat emanating from the crematoriums of Auschwitz any more real. His retelling is haunting nonetheless.
This memoir of the daily fight for survival, the personal inner battles to preserve compassion, conscience and religion is a hopeful one. It is no surprise that the author, Elie Wiesel, went on to win the 1986 Nobel Peace Prize. The power and beauty of human spirit in the face of the dehumanizing brutality of a monstrous regime is deeply inspiring.
An worthwhile foray into the agrarian world of pre-Revolution China”
Published in 1931, “The Good Earth” is the first in “The House of Earth” trilogy. The book was awarded the Pulitzer prize in 1932, and its author, Pearl S. Buck went on to win the Nobel Prize for Literature.
This is the beautifully written story of Wang Lung, a Chinese farmer with a deep and enduring love for his land. The story spans his lifetime from young adulthood until his old age near his death. The setting is rural pre-Revolution China. The language is simple and dispassionate. The characters are flawed but richly presented. The themes are universal, timeless and filled with irony. It is a story of the passions that drive all human beings to achievement and often to tragedy and destruction. The author takes us on an emotional journey of ambition, survival, the attainment of wealth, self-sacrifice, family, the abandonment of traditional values and of lust.
The contrast between modern Western culture and the Chinese agrarian culture at that time is striking, and I perceived that the story contained a faint thread of disdain for that society’s treatment of women. I found the author’s subtle superiority slightly unsettling. I thoroughly enjoyed the book but found that while the author presents the characters and customs with affection, she remains firmly an outsider with a voice tainted, almost imperceptibly, common to Western writers who find themselves immersed in an alien culture.
“A gem of a book for younger readers. ” A ten-year old girl, a toad and a family who stumbles upon everlasting life.
‘Tuck Everlasting‘ is a magical book that grapples with that age-old topic of human fascination – immortality. Winnie Foster meets the Tuck family who have drunk from a spring that gives eternal life – and Winnie has the chance to drink from that spring too – and live forever.
There are also other themes explored in a remarkably mature way: greed, deception, temptation, murder, loneliness, the perfect cycle of life and the true meaning of friendship. This is the kind of story that will allow younger readers to reflect upon life and to develop their ability to reason by taking the consequences of their actions into full consideration. The choices we make are the ones we may have to live with forever.
The story continues at a good pace and is engaging throughout. Natalie Babbitt does a wonderful job of developing the key characters such that we develop a true fondness for them. This is a profound gem of a book, not just for kids.
Published in 1846 as a serial novel, ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ is truly an epic tale – 117 chapters and 1,200 pages long. Translated from the original French, and set primarily in post-Napoleonic France, it tells the story of Edmond Dantes.
We witness Edmond’s transformation from wide-eyed 19-year old sailor, about to become captain of his own ship and marry beautiful Mercedes, the girl of his dreams, to a prisoner, a victim of treachery forgotten in a dungeons of the infamous Chateau d’If, to one of the most enigmatic and multi-layered characters ever written – fabulously wealthy, awesomely powerful and patiently bent on the cleverest, darkest revenge.
Spanning the course of 24 years, this is a saga so rich, so intricate and so enveloping, it makes movies’ attempts to capture masterpieces in the space of a few hours laughable. The reader is mesmerized from the very first chapter. We are sickened by the plots of Edmond’s jealous friends and colleagues plotting his demise. We sense the imminent danger that our guilelessly lovable protagonist is in, but we read on, because we know things will not end well for those who have done wrong as they are steered unknowingly along the inexorable course of fate. With brilliantly rich characters and surprisingly interconnected events, the masterful plot develops seamlessly and with great eloquence and beauty.
Dumas weaves a timelessly brilliant work that captures every facet of human nature and life; it is a story of intrigue, greed and revenge, but also of generosity and determination, self-examination and forgiveness, restoration, redemption and love.
“For it’s engaging style, and endearing story-line, highly recommended!”
Walter Isaacson’s biography of Albert Einstein is an awesome book!
In this exploration of the most important scientist of the 20th century, Isaacson presents us with a wonderfully engaging introduction to the intriguing world of quantum mechanics.
We are taken on an entertaining journey through Einstein’s life from his earliest years until his death. The shroud of mystery is removed and the reader is left awestruck at his genius, but also his humanity.
This book is a must read for anyone who loves science or is a fan of the biography genre. It is one of my all-time favorite books.
When someone disappoints us, it isn’t always easy to stop and figure out what went wrong. We are far more likely to jump to conclusions, blame the other person, then either silently fume or angrily drag them over the coals. This is the beginning of conflict. To many of us, every possible confrontation has only two options: fight or flight.
Although we know better, many of us are often too afraid to speak up. We choose to sweep the issue under the carpet to avoid the threat of being embarrassed. We may resort to dropping subtle hits, changing the subject or becoming withdrawn. We default to silence rather than broach a topic we know to be of critical importance. We may be aware that if we say nothing the problem will get worse, but instead we agonize in our own private hell.
On the other hand, sometimes we’re amped up for an altercation. Bring on the battle, we say. Desperate to prevent our thoughts from being overlooked, we attack. We cut others off, employing debate, insults, threats and sometimes even physical violence to get our point across. As a result, our position is resisted all the more vehemently.
People Who Know How to Fight Win
The ability or inability to handle conflict lies at the heart of success or failure in almost every relationship, whether personal or professional. The failure to manage confrontations effectively can lead to disaster. Businesses fail, family members become enemies and marriages end up in shreds because disputes were either conducted poorly or not at all. People who know how to fight, approach confrontations carefully, lead them skillfully and walk away with clear benefits over not having had the fight. Those who don’t know how to fight bring the drama time and time again. Their actions become the kind of fodder that fuels the ridicule and cheap laughs we love to hate on reality TV.
The most influential, and well-respected people are those who approach conflict as an opportunity to hold others accountable in a respectful and well thought out manner. They skillfully execute confrontations with friends, family, colleagues and bosses knowing which fights to take on, which ones to delay and which ones are better left alone.
Here’s a three step process, to help you bridge the proverbial “fight or flight” impasse, and decide what to do before responding to any potential conflict that arises.
1. Identify the Problem Clearly
When someone disappoints you, emotions may run high. Quite often, allowing situations to fester is a risky proposition. In some circumstances, remaining silent can lead to disaster. If you are truly seeking to achieve a positive outcome and reverse a trend of bad behavior, you must start by clearly identifying what has gone wrong.
The goal of your interaction should never be for you to vent your anger or assert authority over the other person. ‘Crucial Confrontations‘ advises that you should first unbundle the problem, decide what about it is bothering you most, and finally distill it into a single clear sentence. This very simple technique will help you to focus on the real issue and prevent conversations from straying off topic.
If you know exactly what behavior you would like to address, there is little or no risk of taking cheap potshots once the session has started.
2. Decide Whether the Problem Requires A Confrontation
After expressing the issue as one clear thought, ask yourself whether it is really necessary to discuss the matter. Consider the possible consequences of an interaction before bringing it up.
Failure to meet performance indicators, missed deadlines and broken promises are all good opportunities to talk. If you feel inclined to be silent, ask yourself some questions. If you’re feeling inner tension, if your conscience is nagging you, if you are feeling afraid or if you are feeling helpless, then you probably need to speak up.
Downplaying the cost of not taking action, or exaggerating the consequences of broaching the topic are not valid reasons for backing away. One of the biggest considerations in deciding if to speak is evaluating the status quo. What would be the result if the behavior in question were to continue indefinitely? It is often useful to differentiate yourself by clearly in advance by letting those around you know where you stand with regard to commitments and expectations. This way, your holding them accountable will not come as a surprise.
3. Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes
You’ve zeroed in on the issue, and decided it is worth addressing, here is the last and probably the most important step. Before you broach the subject, put yourself in the others person’s shoes.
Force yourself to go through a detailed process of asking “Why?”. Ask why a reasonable, rational, decent person might do what you’ve just seen. Think about all the possible reasons why the person acted the way they did, or failed to act. Consider the facts and circumstances you know about, and the ones you may be unaware of.
What are all the possible influencing factors? Make a list: work load demands, school assignments, family obligations. Next, think of what might have influenced the person; look at carrot and stick motives within the contexts you’ve identified. Finally, think about limitations that may have been at play and the person’s ability to behave in the way you expected, before opening your mouth.
Summary
When someone acts badly or fails to live up to a commitment, your response options are not limited to silence or violence. You can choose whether to address the situation from the point of view of exploring expectations and clarifying accountability in three steps. First, pinpoint the core issue and express it in one sentence. Next, assess whether it is important enough to call for a discussion. Finally, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and explore all the possible motives and limitations that may have influenced their decision or behavior.
I’d Love to Hear Your Thoughts
In the coming months, I will continue to discuss how to handle conflict in a meaningful way. In the comments section below, let me know if you have any questions, and if this post has been helpful. Do you feel you can practically apply these suggestions in your life? Do you have any other tips to offer?
Just this past January, in a discussion of the Myers Briggs (MBTI) personality types, I was reminded of the fact that, like me, Margaret Thatcher is an ENTJ. One of the rarer of the 16 personality types, ENTJ’s are said to make up 2% – 5% of the general population, but only 1% of women. ENTJ is also known as ‘The Executive’, ‘The Field Marshall’, or ‘The CEO’. ENTJs are described as being born leaders, visionaries and long-range planners with high levels of confidence, charisma and personal power. The dark side of the ENTJ personality is that they are perceived as being harsh, judgmental and impatient. ENTJ’s often come across as being forceful to the point of being intimidating, and rational to the point of being cold-hearted. Margaret Thatcher was indeed the prototypical ENTJ.
Early Life and Political Career
Margaret Thatcher was born Margaret Roberts on October 13, 1925, the daughter of a grocer and conservative politician. She was active as a young girl, enjoying a range of interests at school including piano, field hockey, poetry and swimming. She showed early signs of leadership, and served as her school’s head girl in her final year. She was bright, and won a scholarship to study chemistry at Oxford University.
Her political career began earlier, and she joined several conservative political groups on campus. Although her working life began as a research chemist, within a few years she had married a wealthy business man, Denis Thatcher, and began studying for the bar. She qualified as a barrister the year her twins were born, and devoted herself to being a full-time politician from that time on.
Margaret Thatcher as Prime Minister
By the time, Margaret Thatcher, became Britain’s first female Prime Minister in 1979, the country was in the middle of the worst recession it had seen. Powerful labour unions had ground the country to a halt with long-lasting strikes. Rotting garbage piled up in the streets, and inflation was at an all-time high. The people of Britain agreed that it was time for a change.
As Prime Minister, Ms. Thatcher cut social welfare programs causing her to be dubbed Margaret “Milk-Snatcher” Thatcher, and Attila the Hen. She privatized many of Britain’s key industries, and reduced trade union power. Her political mandate was uber-conservative. To her mind, the socialist experiment had failed. The government had become too involved in the economy and in people’s lives. She was pro-Capitalism, and pro-free market. Margaret Thatcher was also anti-Communist. Her campaign against the Soviets caused their press to label her “The Iron Lady”, and it was a moniker that stuck with her for life.
Margaret Thatcher’s Legacy
Ms. Thatcher was not always popular, her strong principles and unyielding political style won her many enemies. She refused to stand by and watch as Argentina attempted to claim the Falkland islands as its own, and unhesitatingly went to war. This bold and polarizing action characterized her career, but won her the favor of the British people. They voted her in twice more, making her the longest serving British Prime Minister of the twentieth century.
Margaret Thatcher was strong. She was determined. She was unyielding. This unwillingness to compromise displayed itself in ways that leave a black mark on her legacy, such as her refusal to impose sanctions against South Africa’s apartheid government. While she was said to be a steadfast critic of the system of racial segregation, she never took a political stand against it. Missteps notwithstanding, with nerves of steel, from 1979 to 1990, she led Britain out of economic recession and to victory in war, and left an indelible mark on world politics.
Here are 25 of Margaret Thatcher’s most powerful quotes. They give insight into the workings of an incredible twentieth century leader:
Margaret Thatcher on Knowing Who You Are and What You’re About:
“Don’t follow the crowd. Let the crowd follow you.” – Margaret Thatcher
“If you just set out to be liked you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.” – Margaret Thatcher
“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important although difficult is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I wasn’t lucky. I deserved it.” – Margaret Thatcher
“To wear your heart on your sleeve isn’t a very good plan; you should wear it inside where it functions best.” – Margaret Thatcher
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t. ” – Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher on Being a Woman:
“If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I’ve got a woman’s ability to stick to a job and get on with it when everyone else walks off and leaves it.” – Margaret Thatcher
“Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.” – Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher on Money:
“Pennies don’t fall from heaven – they have to be earned here on Earth.” – Margaret Thatcher
“No one would have remembered the Good Samaritan if he’d only had good intentions. He had money as well.” – Margaret Thatcher
“It is not the creation of wealth that is wrong, but the love of money for its own sake.” – Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher on Having Conviction:
“One of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas.” – Margaret Thatcher
“To me, consensus seems to be the process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values, and policies. So it is something in which no one believes and to which no one objects.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I love argument. I love debate. I don’t expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me – that’s not their job.” – Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher on the Purpose of Hard Work:
“What is success? I think it is a mixture of having a flair for the thing that you are doing and knowing that it is not enough, that you have got to have hard work and a certain sense of purpose.” – Margaret Thatcher
“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s a day when you’ve had everything to do and you’ve done it.” – Margaret Thatcher
“Plan your work for today, and every day, then work your plan.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but it should get you pretty near.” – Margaret Thatcher
“Where there is discord, may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. And where there is despair, may we bring hope.” – Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher on Being Tenacious:
“Defeat? I do not recognize the meaning of the word.” – Margaret Thatcher
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” – Margaret Thatcher
“You turn if you want to. The Lady’s not for turning.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I fight on. I fight to win.” – Margaret Thatcher
Now It’s Your Turn:
What are your thoughts on Margaret Thatcher? Was she a mean and nasty politician with a heart of stone, or was she a strong-willed leader who did what needed to be done during a difficult time for her country? As a fellow ENTJ, I’m sticking up for Maggie. Margaret Thatcher loved her country, and did all she could to keep it great; her heart was in the right place, and her achievements enormous. I’m no political pundit, and she was far from perfect, but her strength of character puts her legacy in a place of honor for me.
For a dramatic turn on Margaret Thatcher’s life and political career, watch the brilliant movie “Iron Lady” in which she is portrayed by Meryl Streep.
What’s your personality type? Are you an ENTJ like me? Click here to take a short-form version of the test. Post your results in the comments.
Do you have a career development plan? I am not talking about the bottom section of your last performance review. You’ve written a few vague goals outlining what you would like to achieve over the next year. We both know that those objectives hardly get remembered until it’s review time once again. Your company will not be invested in your career development if you don’t drive the process yourself. Here are five reasons why you need to craft your own career development plan and stick with it:
1. A career development plan will keep you from getting stuck in a rut
The days of being promoted at work solely based on tenure are long gone. If you have grown comfortable performing only the tasks you were trained to do when you were hired, then you might as well make up your mind to be overworked and underpaid for the rest of your life. What’s worse is that the system is rigged so that you will eventually be made redundant, and someone with higher entry-level skills will be paid less to do your job even faster. Without a clear career plan, you will be taking the slow and painful route to failure.
Don’t believe me? Look around you. Try to find one or two people in your organization who have done the same thing for years and generally accepted as being on the “going nowhere” track. You may find it difficult to immediately identify someone, but look closely. He might be the ever-faithful driver/building superintendent/superman who has never quite learned how to curb his temper. It seems unfair that he has been overlooked by management, and never given the opportunity to develop. He is loyal, but also more bitter and morose than ever. You may also recognize your candidate in the perky but unproductive receptionist. She smiles as she buffs her nails and talks on the phone all day. She may not seem worried now, but will her two boyfriends take care of her bills forever?
There are all types of people who get stuck in a rut at work. The one thing they all have in common is that they’ve taken their professional development for granted. Don’t be one of those people.
2. A career development plan will help you take responsibility for your weaknesses
Whether or not you’d like to admit it, everyone around you knows exactly how well or how poorly you’re doing at work. All the little foibles you have quietly and conveniently minimized in your own mind, are well-known by your colleagues. Maybe you’re slightly late for work, two or more times per week. You’ve gotten into the habit of abusing your lunch hour, asking a friend to cover for you. Maybe you occasionally nod off at your desk or in meetings. Perhaps you’re a manager who knows less about your work than your staff. Thankfully, your subordinate buddies help you compile month-end reports because you actually don’t have a clue.
Sure you get away with it now, but you’re not fooling anyone. No matter how sweet and well-liked you are, not addressing those little quirks now will mean career suicide later on. You could cross the wrong person, and they might throw you under the bus in retaliation. The management might change. The company could start cracking down on inefficiency. Without notice, you could be exposed for the slacker you are. You’re probably getting defensive, and thinking: there are things I can improve on, but I’m a not a slacker. Why play this hazardous cat and mouse game with yourself? If you are not consistently getting better and better at what you do, sooner or later, you will lose.
3. A career development plan will help define your future career path
Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. I say that the unplanned career is not worth having. According to the book “The Go-Giver” which I just read this week, there are three universal reasons why we work: Survive, save, serve. Survival and saving have to do with meeting your basic needs and having some time and money left over to enjoy life. Service has to do with making a meaningful contribution to the world around you. Most people get stuck on the first two stages, but never figure out a way to reach a place of purpose in their work.
When you don’t develop the habit of establishing and achieving clear goals, you also miss out on the opportunity to steer your career along the path of significance. Would you like to wake up one day and realize that you plodded through your days in a job you hated, instead of making a difference? Of course you don’t. Crafting a career development plan will give you the opportunity to gradually assess not only the tasks you do well, but also identify the things that bring joy and meaning to your work.
4. A career development plan will help you to take charge of your own advancement
Carving out the time, and drumming up the discipline it takes to craft a career development plan for yourself will force you to be accountable. Instead of blaming external forces for every negative turn that occurs at work, you will begin to take responsibility for your own actions and reactions.
Creating a career development plan will put the power back into your own hands. Instead of excusing yourself for being late because of traffic, you will be able to recognize that you have stayed up too late flipping through channels on TV, and neglected to pick out your clothes or organize your kids for the day ahead. Instead of being passed over for a promotion because you didn’t have the requisite skills, you get the computer training you need by taking afternoon classes, to position yourself for the promotion you want.
5. A career development plan will give you the confidence you need to succeed.
A career development plan will give you ownership over all aspects of your career. You will begin to know your strengths and weaknesses inside out. You will decide on meaningful targets and set a realistic plans to meet them. You will know what you want to accomplish, and how far you’ve already come. You will find yourself going to work each day with a sense of purpose. New motivation for your work will seem to grow out of nowhere.
When performance review time rolls around, you will no longer have to struggle to list your strengths or outline your achievements. You will be able to confidently prepare for assessment and promotion meetings. You will be able to update your résumé with ease, and not choke up at the thought of going on a job interview. Creating and maintaining a career development plan will place you firmly on your path to success.
In upcoming posts, I will give you the tools you need to take charge of your own professional advancement by creating your personal career development plan.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, experiences and feedback with me in the comments section below:
“Mondays aren’t so bad, it’s your job that sucks.” -Anonymous graffiti artist
It’s Monday again, groan… This is the exasperated refrain that can be heard around the world, in every language at the start of each new work week. In the photo of street graffiti above, we are cheekily chided: “Mondays aren’t so bad, it’s your job that sucks.” In a typical case of “it’s funny because it’s true”, the accusing words resonate with us. But are those irreverent words really true? Do the millions of people around the world who dread each Monday’s arrival really have jobs that suck? With all the drama, frenemies, nonsensical rules and un-stimulating environments many of us experience at work, maybe do have horrible jobs. Or maybe not.
Maya Angelou wrote “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” I’m with Maya. I can’t promise you that after reading this you’ll be bounding out of bed gushing with anticipation for the work week ahead, but here are ten tips to help you get out of your own way, and become a winner at work.
1. Be Strategic
Focus on what you are longing to achieve. When you go to work each day, you should have your life goals in mind. Do you want a raise or a promotion? Are you working at accumulating the downpayment for a house? Are you planning on starting a family? Concentrate on the future, and you will find yourself less concerned with gossip and petty complaints.
2. Take the High Road
When you’re stuck in close quarters with the same people for eight hours day after day, sooner or later someone is going to do something that will make you really angry. You’re only human, and tempers will flare. The key is to not let it get the best of you. As a person with big goals in mind, don’t ruin your reputation just to get a few moments of gratification by publicly venting your anger. In explosive situations, walk away, have a drink of water, take a break, but by all means do not blow your top. In the same vein, don’t resort to becoming passive aggressive and taking things out slowly on the person who upset you with sarcasm or political maneuvering.
3. Craft a Personal Vision
What do you want to be known for at work? How will accomplishments in this job affect future career aspirations? When I was fresh out of university as an audit assistant with Ernst & Young, I made a list of qualities I wanted to strive for in my work. “My Commitment to Excellence” was my professional manifesto, printed on an 11′ x 4′ card and posted on my cubicle wall. It listed a handful of values and practices I wanted to be held accountable for by myself, my colleagues and my bosses. This was probably taking it a bit far, and it makes me laugh to think of it now, but it helped me to go from being an unmotivated, mediocre student to a top performer at work.
4. Choose to be a Victor, not a Victim
Every situation in life comes with its own set of limitations; work is no different. There are inevitably going to be circumstances which occur at work which will be both unpleasant and outside your control: the sick day policy might change, you may have to suddenly start working shifts, there may be a wage freeze imposed. Only losers waste time pining over things they cannot control. Be a winner; decide today not to waste your time and energy complaining about things you can’t control. Get over it and move on.
5. Set Growth Goals
We all have things we can do better in life. You will not become a winner by basking in mediocrity. Commit to being much better than average. Set a goal to become one of the top 10% of performers at your workplace. Pay close attention to performance reviews, and create your own personal self-improvement plan. Get ongoing feedback from your colleagues and supervisors, and set yourself daily goals and measurable targets.
6. Become an Effective Communicator
It has often been said those who are able to communicate effectively have an advantage at work and in life. Make a decision to become one of the best communicators among your colleagues. Good communicators know how to effectively employ eye contact, body language, tone of voice, and they are adept at choosing the right words. Challenge yourself to speaking up, and to being courteous and friendly in every interaction. Most conflicts arise or are fueled by ineffective communication, so your new skills will go a long way toward helping you avoid workplace misunderstandings.
7. Embrace the Big Picture
If you’re going to be a winner in the work place, you’re going to have to trade in your myopic mindset for one that embraces the big picture. If you had your supervisor’s job, would you be spending time grumbling in the lunch room about the new policy on tardiness? Probably not. Make an effort to learn more about how the organization functions, why certain decisions are made, and what makes it tick. Finding out the reasons behind unpleasant mandates can give you a different perspective, and will neutralize the powerlessness that comes with not knowing why.
8. Stay Organized. Stay Busy.
My grandfather used to say “the devil finds work for idle hands to do”. Many people develop the habit of lack-luster performance out of sheer boredom. If you go to work every day waiting to be told what to do, watching the clock and longing for home time, you are bound to hate your job. You’re bored. It is no wonder you’ve become embroiled in office gossip and politics just to liven things up. Instead, make a commitment to go to work each day with a purpose. Have a list of the things you would like to accomplish, and volunteer to help out if you run out of things to do. In this way, you will no longer have time to wonder who is talking about you behind your back.
9. Think Win-Win
To truly be a winner in the workplace, you must learn to think win-win. This will require you choose to compromise, not to give in, but to evaluate all the options and choose a path that will not only benefit you, but all concerned. It’s a give and take. If you make a decision to work on this every day, you will develop the reputation of being a fair-minded person, and a good negotiator. You will find yourself gaining a lot more than you would have by selfishly fighting for your own gain.
10. Nurture Your Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm can be an elusive quality. Many of us only show it in response to exciting events, others hardly ever, and yet there are those who appear to exude it from within. An enthusiastic person has a winning attitude. They choose to see the opportunities in every challenge they face. They know how to generate energy and positive vibes even in the worst of circumstances. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, wrote a groundbreaking book called ‘Man’s Search for Meaning‘. In it, he celebrates the kind of attitude it took to make it through a Nazi death camp alive. The person who is able to think positively in sticky situations, and devise a desirable conclusion, is the person who will win. Commit today to becoming an enthusiastic person.
Being a winner in the work place starts with a decision, it starts with you. Here’s to happier Mondays in the future!
Let me know what you thought of this post in the comments section, and if there’s anything else you would add to the list. If you liked it, be sure to share it with someone you care about.
You’ve finally gotten the promotion you’ve dreamed of. You’re finally in charge. Being the new corporate head, division chief or general manager will be harder than you could have imagined. Here are ten tips to help you negotiate this unknown territory and remain grounded, while achieving the results you can be proud of.
1. Check Your Ego at the Door
You’ve gotten to where you are because you’re a superstar. You are brilliant. You worked harder than your colleagues and got promoted faster, too. Maybe you had passable technical skills, but excellent networking and people skills and brown-nosed your way to the top. None of that will help you now. It’s not about you any more. It’s no longer just your career. Your performance will now be dependent on the results you achieve through your team.
2. Listen
Companies usually appoint new leaders out of need. Perhaps the old CEO retired, or the previous division head was fired. Now it’s on you to achieve those unrealistic results. Even if you have been with the company for years, you must go in with a clear mind and survey the territory with fresh eyes. You may be tempted to believe you already have all the answers. Resist that temptation. Pretend you know nothing, and listen. Listen to your managers and direct reports. Listen to your line staff. Listen to your suppliers. Listen to your customers. Listen. Create forums where people will be frank with you. Take it all in, and fill a brand new slate.
3. Craft A Vision
After taking the helm, you will be expected to chart the course for the organization. You need to decide where you want to go, and the strategies you will use to get there. Your people need something to believe in, but you have to believe it first. Craft an inspirational and aspirational vision that will serve as your company’s proverbial ‘pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night’.
4. Create Buy-In
Regardless of how much talent and previous success, industry expertise and respect you’ve gained before taking up your new job, the troops will not automatically become loyal followers of you or your vision. You will have to earn it. You will have to win them over little by little and day by day by being consistent, passionate and respectful. Tell them the “why” behind the vision, and they will hear their own concerns reflected. Start with your leaders first, then communicate and over-communicate the vision company wide to make sure that the message does not become distorted.
5. Be Knowledgeable
To be successful, you will need to have a thorough understanding of all direct and indirect financial drivers: revenue streams, the cash and inventory cycle, direct costs and administrative expenses and operating and customer service key performance indicators (KPIs). You need to gain a thorough knowledge of these indicators to set the right goals and targets for your department heads. Creating a culture of reporting will be key. Your team should know what their KPIs are and how they are doing compared to target on a daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly basis, and so should you.
6. Be Independent
It’s lonely at the top. Certain members of your team will try to ingratiate themselves to become favorites or be granted special privileges. Resist it at all costs. Have zero tolerance for this type of suck up behavior. Do not compromise your independence. Failing to do so will have you paying favors indefinitely. It will also create and over-politicized culture, and will earn you the mistrust of the less-favored and potentially more principled and hard-working team members.
7. Nurture Your People
You won’t be a leader if no one is following you. While fostering cronies and gofers is not acceptable, you still need to nurture your team. It is important to develop a mentoring relationship with each of your key players so that you can help them be their best. Theodore Roosevelt once penned the wise words: “people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
8. Foster Accountability
Being a nurturing leader does not mean you will stand for substandard performance. Your aim should be to continually get better results as they perfect their skills. You should have zero tolerance policy for excuses and finger-pointing. When someone comes to you with a problem, require that they also come armed with a suggested solution. When one of your direct reports makes a mistake, he or she should quickly accept responsibility, suggest a possible way out, and move on.
9. Celebrate Wins, Even Small Ones
While driving hard for improvement, innovation and accountability, it is important to take note of the successes. Failing to notice even small improvements will leave your team feeling unappreciated and will lead to frustration and burn out. Find ways to systematically celebrate wins and ensure that you apply it consistently. Your team will thank you for it.
10. Focus on Continuous Communication
Constant effective communication will be key to ensuring quality and consistent growth. Listening should be something the entire organization internalizes. Everyone’s voice is important. Create open and honest lines of communication at all levels of the organization. Make communication systemic by setting up weekly pow-wows and department meetings, regular staff polls and annual leaders’ retreats.
11. Never Stop Learning
No matter how much you know already, as a new leader, it will never be enough. Read as much as you can and keep reading. Seek out other business leaders who can mentor you and challenge you to become a better leader. Keep an open mind in all situations. Be humble. You are the boss, but develop the mindset that every single person in your organization has something they can teach you.
Are there any other important tips you would share to new business leaders? Feel free to share your experiences, and feedback in the comments section below. Good luck on your leadership journey!
‘. He tells the story of his challenging younger days with brevity and a matter of fact quality.
is Elie Wiesel’s autobiographical account of holocaust survival. Summon your courage and brace yourself emotionally for the coming onslaught of cruelty inflicted by Hitler on European Jews through an incredibly dark moment in human history.
‘ is a magical book that grapples with that age-old topic of human fascination – immortality. Winnie Foster meets the Tuck family who have drunk from a spring that gives eternal life – and Winnie has the chance to drink from that spring too – and live forever.
’ is truly an epic tale – 117 chapters and 1,200 pages long. Translated from the original French, and set primarily in post-Napoleonic France, it tells the story of Edmond Dantes.
‘ advises that you should first unbundle the problem, decide what about it is bothering you most, and finally distill it into a single clear sentence. This very simple technique will help you to focus on the real issue and prevent conversations from straying off topic.
